Sub drop and dom drop: recognising and responding
This guide covers the trance-like state of a scene, emotional overload, and winding down and coming out of role play.[1][2][3] Research on BDSM and altered states of consciousness is limited, so claims in this area deserve careful reading.[4]
In short
- During activities, participants may feel endorphin effects comparable to a runner's high, and the trance-like state is called subspace for the submissive and domspace for the dominant.[5][1]
- Losses of emotional balance through sensory or emotional overload are a fairly commonly discussed issue, so participants' reactions should be followed empathetically.[2]
- After BDSM activities, it is important for participants to go through aftercare to process and calm down.[3]
- Negotiation before play, including discussion of what is acceptable and unacceptable, is commonplace, and safewords are often arranged to allow an immediate stop.[6][7]
- Many kink-involved people do not tell clinicians about their kink, which can create barriers to support.[8]
The states around a scene
BDSM actions can take place during a specific period agreed by both parties, called play, a scene or a session.[9] During the activities, participants may feel endorphin effects comparable to a runner's high.[5]
The corresponding trance-like mental state is called subspace for the submissive and domspace for the dominant.[1] Couples engaging in consensual BDSM tend to show hormonal changes that indicate decreases in stress and increases in emotional bonding.[10]
Emotional balance and triggers
It is necessary to identify each person's psychological squicks or triggers in advance in order to avoid them.[2] Losses of emotional balance due to sensory or emotional overload are a fairly commonly discussed issue.[2]
A pleasurable experience is commonly considered to depend strongly on the top's competence and experience and on the bottom's physical and mental state.[11] Trust and arousal help partners enter a shared mindset.[11]
Coming down afterwards
After any BDSM activities, it is important that participants go through aftercare, to process and calm down from the activity.[3] Participants can need aftercare in order to mentally come out of the role play.[3]
Following participants' reactions empathetically, and continuing or stopping accordingly, is described as important.[2]
Talking it through beforehand
Pre-play negotiations are commonplace, especially among partners who do not know each other well.[6] They concern each partner's interests and fantasies and establish a framework of acceptable and unacceptable activities.[6]
Consent requires relevant information, such as how far a scene will go, the potential risks and whether a safeword will be used.[12] BDSM participants go to greater lengths than people in conventional relationships to negotiate important aspects in advance.[13]
Roles and the dominant's part
Top and dominant are widely used for the physically active or controlling participant, and sub and dom are frequently used abbreviations.[14][15] Following participants' reactions empathetically and continuing or stopping accordingly is described as important.[2]
Domspace is named alongside subspace, so the dominant's own state is part of the picture too.[1] The precise definition of roles and self-identification is a common subject of debate among participants.[14]
Support and stigma
In a survey of 1,398 kink-involved people, 58.3 per cent did not disclose their kink to a physical healthcare clinician and 49.6 per cent did not disclose it to a mental healthcare clinician.[8] In the same survey, 19.0 per cent reported delaying or avoiding healthcare because of anticipated or perceived stigma.[8]
Researchers argue that anticipated stigma leads to non-disclosure and delay in seeking care, which creates barriers to health and well-being.[8] The survey used convenience sampling and self-report, which limits how far its results can be generalised.[8]
Where the evidence is thin
Empirical research on BDSM and altered states of consciousness is limited.[4] Little is known about the physical marks and injuries that come from consensual BDSM activities, and the survey findings rest on convenience samples.[16]
A safeword agreed in advance lets a consenting partner withdraw consent at any point, and greater BDSM experience is positively associated with the use of safe words.[17][18][16] Much of this area therefore rests on exploratory findings rather than settled science.[4][16]
Sources
- Source grade CFries, DS (2002). "Opioid Analgesics". In Williams DA, Lemke TL. Foye's Principles of Medicinal Chemistry (5th ed.). Philadelphia: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins. ISBN 978-0-683-30737-5
- Source grade CWiseman, Jay (1998). SM 101: A Realistic Introduction . California: Greenery Press. ISBN 978-0-9639763-8-3 .; Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy: The New Topping Book , page 111
- Source grade CZane, Zachary (4 October 2019). "What Is Sexual Aftercare, and Why Is It So Important?" . Men's Health . Archived from the original on 20 July 2020 . Retrieved 20 July 2020 . menshealth.com
- Source grade BSam E. Greenberg. Divine kink: A consideration of the evidence for BDSM as spiritual ritual. International Journal of Transpersonal Studies. 2019. doi:10.24972/ijts.2019.38.1.220
- Source grade CGoldberg, Jeff (1988). Anatomy of a Scientific Discovery . Bantam Books, 1988. ISBN 978-0-553-34631-2 ; ISBN 978-0-553-17616-2 (British edition); ISBN 978-0-553-05261-9
- Source grade DDavid Stein: S/M's Copernican Revolution:From a Closed World to the Infinite Universe and Safe Sane Consensual: The Evolution of a Shibboleth available at s/m-leather history [ link removed ]
- Source grade CDeborah Cameron, Don Kulick: Language and Sexuality , Page 24, Cambridge University Press 2003, ISBN 978-0-521-00969-0
- Source grade BSprott RA, Randall A, Smith K, Woo L. Rates of Injury and Healthcare Utilization for Kink-Identified Patients. J Sex Med. 2021. doi:10.1016/j.jsxm.2021.08.001
- Source grade CMiller, Phillip; Devon, Molly; Granzig, William A. (1995). Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism . Mystic Rose Books. p. 55 . ISBN 978-0-9645960-0-9 . archive.org
- Source grade BSagarin, BradJ.; Cutler, Bert; Cutler, Nadine; Lawler-Sagarin, Kimberly A.; Matuszewich, Leslie (1 April 2009). "Hormonal Changes and Couple Bonding in Consensual Sadomasochistic Activity". Archives of Sexual Behavior . 38 (#2): 186– 200. doi : 10.1007/s10508-008-9374-5 . ISSN 0004-0002 . PMID 18563549 . S2CID 15989116 . doi.org
- Source grade CJohn Warren, PhD: The Loving Dominant , Greenery Press (CA), 2nd rev. ed., ISBN 978-1-890159-20-7; Bill Henkin, Sybil Holiday: Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely , Daedalus Publishing Company 1996, ISBN 978-1-881943-12-9
- Source grade CDossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy: The New Topping Book , Greenery Press (CA) 2002, ISBN 978-1-890159-36-8
- Source grade CWiseman, Jay. "Negotiation and Negotiation Forms" . Archived from the original on 2 December 2014 . Retrieved 26 November 2014 . evilmonk.org
- Source grade CGrau, Johnson (1995). "What do B&D, S&M, D&S, "top", "bottom" mean" . Leather Roses. Archived from the original on 11 January 2008 . Retrieved 27 January 2008 . leathernroses.com
- Source grade C"Dictionary of BDSM Terms" . Archived from the original on 2 December 2014 . Retrieved 26 November 2014 . xeromag.com
- Source grade BDrouin M, Hernandez E, Machette A, Garcia JR, Boyd RL. An exploration of marks/injuries related to BDSM sexual experiences. Sex Med. 2023. doi:10.1093/sexmed/qfad020
- Source grade CDossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy: The New Topping Book , page 72, Greenery Press (CA) 2002, ISBN 978-1-890159-36-8
- Source grade CWiseman, Jay (1998). SM 101: A Realistic Introduction . California: Greenery Press. ISBN 978-0-9639763-8-3 .; Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy: The New Topping Book , page 71, Greenery Press (CA) 2002
Every claim was checked against its source before publication. Last checked 8 October 2026.