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Dominant, submissive, switch: understanding roles

This guide explains the roles of dominant, submissive and switch, and how they sit within BDSM[1]. The dominant–submissive relationship revolves around consent and guidelines[2].

In short

  • Dominance and submission (D/s) is a subset of BDSM, and a switch is someone who can take either role[3][4].
  • Power exchange is described as consensual, and one source describes the submissive as holding the underlying control[5].
  • Rules are usually set and agreed upon by the dominant and the submissive before a scene or situation begins[6].
  • Negotiation is described as required for play to be enjoyable and safe for both parties, and safewords are described as an important asset for continuing consent[7].
  • In one survey of 1,398 kink-involved people, 19.0% reported delaying or avoiding healthcare because of anticipated stigma[8].
Roles as a spectrum Dominant at one end, submissive at the other, switch in between. Many people move along the line. Dominant Switch Submissive takes control moves between gives control
Roles are agreed for a scene, not fixed identities. Top and bottom describe who is active, which is a separate question.

The three roles

Dominance and submission, often shortened to D/s, is a set of behaviours, customs and rituals in which one person submits to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle, and it is a subset of BDSM[3]. Those who take the superior position are called dominants, while those who take the subordinate position are called submissive, or subs[9]. A switch is a person who can take either role[4].

Two switches together may negotiate and exchange roles several times in a session[9]. The terms top and bottom are also used, and they can work as synonyms for dominant and submissive, with less focus on the sadist and masochist side of the activity[10].

What power exchange means

Most of the time in relationships like this there is some sort of power exchange[10]. Power exchange refers to the empowerment of the dominant through the submissive's surrender to their control, and it is consensual[5]. It is also described as the submissive holding the underlying control, with the dominant attempting to satisfy the submissive's kinks and desires[5].

Physical contact is not necessary, and D/s can be conducted anonymously by telephone, email or other messaging systems[9]. In other cases it can be intensely physical[9].

Rules, protocols and symbols

Discipline in BDSM is the practice in which a dominant sets rules that a submissive is expected to obey[11]. Rules are usually set and agreed upon by the dominant and the submissive before the beginning of any scene or situation[6]. Community guidance describes negotiated rules, protocols, rewards, safewords and regular check-ins as part of a structured dominant/submissive dynamic[12].

Many submissives wear a collar to show their status and commitment, which can be compared to a wedding band worn only by the submissive[13]. The traditional collar is a neck band in leather or metal, chosen, designed and even crafted by the dominant partner[13]. Some subs wear a symbolic collar, such as a bracelet or ankle chain, that can pass in non-BDSM situations[13].

For long-term consent a slave contract may be drawn up, as a way for consenting adults to define the nature of their relationship and clarify personal boundaries[14]. Such contracts are not intended to carry legal force[14].

Consent and negotiation

The relationship between a dominant and a submissive revolves around consent and guidelines[2]. Consent can be given in many ways, from a written negotiation form to a simple verbal commitment[7]. It can also be limited in duration and content[7].

Negotiation, meaning a discussion of which activities are available and a shared definition of the play, is described as the only way both partners will be able to perform comfortably[7]. The more familiar the partners are with each other, the less negotiation may be needed[7]. Less risky activities may likewise need less negotiation[7].

Safewords and signals

Safewords are verbal codes both partners recognise as ending or altering an activity in a scene, and they help continue consent through the relationship and the scene itself[7]. Using one at any time usually ends the scene or activity[7]. Some communities use traffic-light words, where red means stop everything and yellow means slow down and go no further[7].

Where speaking is not an option, silent signals such as clapping hands or snapping fingers can show that the scene must end[7]. The use of safewords goes hand in hand with consent and negotiation[7].

How common are these roles?

A 2017 Belgian study of 1,027 people found that 46.8% had ever performed at least one BDSM-related activity, and 12.5% did so regularly[15]. A 2008 study found much lower figures, with 2.2% of men and 1.3% of women taking part in the previous year[3]. Estimates therefore differ widely between these two studies[3][15].

In a UK survey of 470 people from several paraphilic interest groups, including BDSM, men were more likely to take dominant roles, women submissive roles and nonbinary people switch roles[16]. The participants were predominantly cisgender men[16].

Misconceptions and stigma

Many misconceptions come from early theorists who conceptualised sadomasochism and BDSM behaviour as a symptom of psychopathology[17]. It was thought that people who took part disregarded safety and consent[17]. Consensual practice is what helps distinguish BDSM participants from a psychiatric diagnosis of a sexual disorder[7].

In a survey of 1,398 kink-involved people, 58.3% had not told their physical healthcare clinician about their kink, and 19.0% had delayed or avoided healthcare because of anticipated stigma[8]. The authors note that this survey used convenience sampling and self-report, which affect how far its results can be generalised[8].

Terms in this guide: Dominant (Dom/Domme), Submissive (sub), Switch, D/s (dominance/submission), Consent, Safeword, Negotiation

Sources

  1. Source grade BJozifkova, Eva (September 2013). "Consensual Sadomasochistic Sex (BDSM): The Roots, the Risks, and the Distinctions Between BDSM and Violence". Current Psychiatry Reports . 15 (9) 392. doi : 10.1007/s11920-013-0392-1 . ISSN 1523-3812 . PMID 23933978 . S2CID 29054687 . doi.org; Dunkley, Cara R.; Brotto, Lori A. (22 April 2019). "The Role of Consent in the Context of BDSM". Sexual Abuse . 32 (6). doi : 10.1177/1079063219842847 . ISSN 1079-0632 . PMID 31010393 . S2CID 128359900 . doi.org (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)
  2. Source grade C"DSM, DSM-Iv, DSM-Ivr", Encyclopedia of Pain , Springer Berlin Heidelberg, 2013, p. 1080, doi : 10.1007/978-3-642-28753-4_100651 , ISBN 9783642287527 doi.org (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)
  3. Source grade BRichters, Juliet; De Visser, Richard O.; Rissel, Chris E.; Grulich, Andrew E.; Smith, Anthony M.A. (July 2008). "Demographic and Psychosocial Features of Participants in Bondage and Discipline, 'Sadomasochism' or Dominance and Submission (BDSM): Data from a National Survey" . The Journal of Sexual Medicine . 5 (7): 1660– 1668. doi : 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2008.00795.x . PMID 18331257 . figshare.com (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)
  4. Source grade BJozifkova, Eva (September 2013). "Consensual Sadomasochistic Sex (BDSM): The Roots, the Risks, and the Distinctions Between BDSM and Violence". Current Psychiatry Reports . 15 (9) 392. doi : 10.1007/s11920-013-0392-1 . ISSN 1523-3812 . PMID 23933978 . S2CID 29054687 . doi.org (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)
  5. Source grade DBauer, Robin (2014). Queer BDSM intimacies: Critical consent and pushing boundaries . Houndmills, Basingstoke, Hampshire; New York, NY: Palgrave Macmillan. {{ cite book }} : CS1 maint: location missing publisher ( link ) (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)
  6. Source grade ABrown, Ashley; Barker, Edward D.; Rahman, Qazi (2020). "A Systematic Scoping Review of the Prevalence, Etiological, Psychological, and Interpersonal Factors Associated with BDSM". The Journal of Sex Research . 57 (6): 781– 811. doi : 10.1080/00224499.2019.1665619 . doi.org (via Wikipedia: Discipline (BDSM))
  7. Source grade BDunkley, Cara R.; Brotto, Lori A. (22 April 2019). "The Role of Consent in the Context of BDSM". Sexual Abuse . 32 (6). doi : 10.1177/1079063219842847 . ISSN 1079-0632 . PMID 31010393 . S2CID 128359900 . doi.org (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)
  8. Source grade BSprott RA, Randall A, Smith K, Woo L. Rates of Injury and Healthcare Utilization for Kink-Identified Patients. J Sex Med. 2021. doi:10.1016/j.jsxm.2021.08.001
  9. Source grade BFedoroff, Paul J. (2008). "Sadism, Sadomasochism, Sex, and Violence" . Canadian Journal of Psychiatry . 53 (10): 637– 646. doi : 10.1177/070674370805301003 . PMID 18940032 . :"Sexual arousal from consensual interactions that include domination should be distinguished from non consensual sex acts." doi.org (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)
  10. Source grade CNewmahr, Staci (2011). Playing on the Edge: Sadomasochism, Risk, and Intimacy . Indiana University Press. ISBN 9780253355973 . OCLC 802887067 . search.worldcat.org (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)
  11. Source grade C16 BDSM Punishments For Effective Behavior Training , Bad Girls Bible , retrieved 3 Feb 2019 badgirlsbible.com; Knotty Girl (5 October 2012). "Bound and Shagged: Discipline" . Swarthmore Phoenix . Retrieved 27 Aug 2017 . swarthmorephoenix.com (via Wikipedia: Discipline (BDSM))
  12. Source grade CBeMoreKinky (2025-01-24). "Submissive Training Guide: Creating BDSM Slave Rules" . BeMoreKinky . Retrieved 11 March 2026 . bemorekinky.com (via Wikipedia: Discipline (BDSM))
  13. Source grade CMakai, Michael (September 2013). "Chapter 6: The Collar". Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook . Createspace. pp. 152– 161. ISBN 978-1492775973 . (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)
  14. Source grade CMakai, Michael (September 2013). Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook . Createspace. pp. 162– 171. ISBN 978-1492775973 . (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)
  15. Source grade BHolvoet, Lien; Huys, Wim; Coppens, Violette; Seeuws, Jantien; Goethals, Kris; Morrens, Manuel (September 2017). "Fifty Shades of Belgian Gray: The Prevalence of BDSM-Related Fantasies and Activities in the General Population". The Journal of Sexual Medicine . 14 (9): 1152– 1159. doi : 10.1016/j.jsxm.2017.07.003 . PMID 28781214 . doi.org (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)
  16. Source grade BBrown A, Barker ED, Friedrich S, Rahman Q. A Survey of the United Kink-dom: Investigating Five Paraphilic Interest Groups and Their Demographic and Psychological Correlates. J Sex Res. 2026;63(3):412-430. doi:10.1080/00224499.2025.2486472
  17. Source grade BNitschke, Joachim; Mokros, Andreas; Osterheider, Michael; Marshall, William L. (December 2013). "Sexual Sadism: Current Diagnostic Vagueness and the Benefit of Behavioral Definitions" (PDF) . International Journal of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology . 57 (12): 1441– 1453. doi : 10.1177/0306624X12465923 . ISSN 0306-624X . PMID 23188927 . S2CID 21307046 . Archived (PDF) from the original epub.uni-regensburg.de (via Wikipedia: Dominance and submission)

Grades: A systematic review or official classification, B peer-reviewed study, C expert or community organisation, D practice from the community without research. How we grade sources.

Every claim was checked against its source before publication. Last checked 8 October 2026.