Safeword
In BDSM, a safeword is a code word, series of code words or other signal used by a person to communicate their physical or emotional state, typically when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional or moral boundary[1].
Sources: grade A×1, grade B×2, grade C×9. Last checked 8 October 2026. What the grades mean
Safewords are usually agreed upon before a scene by all participants, and many organised BDSM groups have standard safewords to avoid confusion at organised play events[2]. One study has shown that BDSM negotiations to establish consent consist of four parts covering style of play, body parts, limits and safewords[3].
Safewords are usually spoken, but they can also be physical or visual gestures[4]. The most common system is the traffic light system, in which "red" means "stop", "amber" or "yellow" means "proceed with caution", and "green" means "more, please!"[5].
Some people add other colours to the system, such as "blue" or "purple" for dissociation and other emotional triggers[6]. "Blue" may also be used to signify a medical emergency[7].
Where an act has been consented to beforehand, any participant can end that consent at any point by using a safeword[8]. Consensual non-consent is a mutual agreement to be able to act as if consent has been waived[9], and safewords are especially important there, as saying "stop" in that context is usually part of the scene[10].
Sources
- Source grade C"Beyond Safe Words: When Saying 'No' in BDSM Isn't Enough" . Broadly . 10 December 2015. Archived from the original on 30 May 2016 . Retrieved 22 April 2016 . vice.com
- Source grade CClark, Tracy (29 January 2012). "When safe words are ignored" . Salon.com . Archived from the original on 27 April 2013 . Retrieved 29 April 2013 . salon.com
- Source grade B“Conversational-Phases-in-BDSM-Pre-Scene-Negotiation” Journal of Positive Sexuality journalofpositivesexuality.org
- Source grade CWynne, Griffen (12 March 2019). "Here's How To Decide On A Safe Word, According To Sexperts" . Elite Daily . Retrieved 21 September 2026 . elitedaily.com
- Source grade CGilmour, Paisley (17 September 2018). "Everything you need to know about using safewords" . Cosmopolitan . Retrieved 28 December 2020 . cosmopolitan.com
- Source grade C"Safe Words" . FetLife . 26 February 2026 . Retrieved 21 September 2026 . fetlife.com; Keith (10 September 2024). "Safewords for Better Relationships" . Sitting Quietly, Doing Nothing . Retrieved 21 September 2026 . mcguinnes.wordpress.com
- Source grade C"The KINKY SAFTEY COLOR CODE SYSTEM" . K-EDU CAMPUS: Your Free Kink Education Hub . SINSFULCOMICS. 16 August 2025 . Retrieved 21 September 2026 . keducampus.com
- Source grade ABrown, Ashley (2019). "A Systematic Scoping Review of the Prevalence, Etiological, Psychological, and Interpersonal Factors Associated with BDSM" . Journal of Sex Research . 57 (6): 781– 811. doi : 10.1080/00224499.2019.1665619 . PMID 31617765 – via Taylor & Francis. tandfonline.com
- Source grade C"Consensual non-consent" Archived 2009-09-01 at the Wayback Machine , Informed Consent dictionary, Accessed 12 June 2012. informedconsent.co.uk; Dictionary of BDSM Terms , "Consensual Non-Consent", Accessed 12 June 2012. xeromag.com; Masterboundyou (2021-01-20). "5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT" . BoundYou . Retrieved 2025-07-17 . boundyou.wordpress.com; "What is Blanket Consent? (Free Use & CNC) - Dom sub Relationship" . 2023-10-30 . Retrieved 2025-07-17 . domsubrelationship.com; "CNC, Blanket Consent and everything in between" . Altlife.Community . Retrieved 2025-07-17 . altlife.community
- Source grade CBashan, Dr Frankie (22 August 2025). "Do You Need a Safeword? - Little Gay Book" . Retrieved 21 September 2026 . littlegaybook.com
- Source grade B”collarncuffs.com on safewords” collarncuffs.com; Holt, Karen (2016). "Blacklisted: Boundaries, Violations, and Retaliatory Behavior in the BDSM Community" . Deviant Behavior . 37 (8): 917– 930. doi : 10.1080/01639625.2016.1156982 – via Taylor & Francis. tandfonline.com
- Source grade CBauer, R. (28 October 2014). Queer BDSM Intimacies: Critical Consent and Pushing Boundaries . Springer. ISBN 9781137435026 . Archived from the original on 23 November 2016 . Retrieved 22 November 2016 – via Google Books. books.google.com; David J. Ley (2 February 2021). "Consensual Non-Consent: Exploring Challenging Boundaries" . Psychology Today . Retrieved 3 January 2023 . psychologytoday.com
Every claim was checked against its source before publication. Last checked 8 October 2026.