Curiosity is a good place to start.
A knowledge base about kink, consent and open relationships for adults. Every page shows its sources and how strong they are, so you can tell research from community wisdom.
- Start here
Seven steps from first curiosity to a first conversation with a partner.
- Glossary A to Z
31 terms so far, each explained in one sentence and then properly.
- Tools
A yes/no/maybe list and other worksheets. Nothing you enter leaves your browser.
Guides
- PracticesBDSM for beginners: where to start
This guide follows bondage as a worked example, since it is described as the activity of tying or restraining people using equipment such as chains, cuffs or…
- Consent & communicationHow to talk to your partner about kink
BDSM participants are described as going to greater lengths than people in conventional relationships to negotiate important aspects of their relationships in…
- Consent & communicationConsent in kink: informed, ongoing, revocable
This guide explains how consent is understood in BDSM, from explicit agreement and negotiation to safewords and the main consent models. The topic matters…
- Consent & communicationHow to negotiate a scene
This guide looks at how adults can negotiate a scene, which is a specific period of play agreed to by both parties. Pre-play negotiation is commonplace in…
- Consent & communicationYes/No/Maybe: mapping desires together
A Yes/No/Maybe list is a list of sexual activities and other information designed for partners to better communicate and understand each other's desires and…
- SafetySafewords and safety signals
A safeword is a code word, series of code words or other signal that a person uses to communicate their physical or emotional state, typically when…
From the glossary
- 4Cs (Caring, Communication, Consent, Caution)The 4Cs stands for Caring, Communication, Consent and Caution, and it is described as one of the less well…
- AftercareAftercare, which often includes affectionate and caretaking behaviours, is a way of decompressing after a…
- BDSMBDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and…
- Brat / brat tamerA brat, or someone who is bratting, is a submissive who behaves disobediently, mischievously or…
- CompersionCompersion is a term coined by members of the polyamorous community to describe an empathetic state of…
- ConsentWithin BDSM, consent is the explicit and informed agreement by a participant to engage in specific acts or…
- D/s (dominance/submission)Dominance and submission (D/s) is a set of behaviours, customs and rituals involving the submission of one…
- Dominant (Dom/Domme)In dominance and submission (D/s), those who take the superior position are called dominants, known as Doms…
How we work
Kink is not a disorder in the international classification of diseases (ICD-11), and most people have fantasies that go beyond the ordinary. That is where we start. We do not claim more than the research supports, and we say so when the evidence is thin.
There is no forum, no comments and no explicit imagery here. Read our sources and method.