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Compersion

Compersion is a term coined by members of the polyamorous community to describe an empathetic state of happiness and joy experienced when another individual experiences happiness and joy[1].

Sources: grade B×4, grade C×7. Last checked 8 October 2026. What the grades mean

In polyamorous relationships, it describes the positive feelings a person experiences when their intimate partner is enjoying another relationship[2]. It has been variously described as "the opposite or flip side of jealousy"[3]. It has also been called a "positive emotional reaction to a lover's other relationship"[4].

The term has been compared to the four immeasurables and their near enemies in Buddhism[5]. It is traced to the Kerista Commune in San Francisco[6].

It is usually preferred or encouraged that a polyamorist view their partners' other significant others, often called metamours, in terms of the gain to their partners' lives rather than as a threat to their own[7][8]. A metamour is the lover of one's lover, or the partner of one's partner, whom one is not directly romantically involved with[9].

Jealousy and possessiveness are generally viewed as responses to be explored, understood and resolved within each individual, with compersion as a goal[8]. They are not seen so much as something to avoid or to structure the relationships around[8].

Sources

  1. Source grade BBalzarini, Rhonda N.; McDonald, James N.; Kohut, Taylor; Lehmiller, Justin J.; Holmes, Bjarne M.; Harman, Jennifer J. (May 1, 2021). "Compersion: When Jealousy-Inducing Situations Don't (Just) Induce Jealousy" . Archives of Sexual Behavior . 50 (4): 1311– 1324. doi : 10.1007/s10508-020-01853-1 . hdl : 2078.1/262808 . ISSN 1573-2800 . PMID 34041641 . link.springer.com; Thouin-Savard, Marie I.; Flicker, Sharon M. (2023). "Compersion" . In Shackelford, Todd K. (ed.). Encyclopedia of Sexual Psychology and Behavior . Cham: Springer International Publishing. pp. 1– 7. doi : 10.1007/978-3-031-08956-5_2472-1 . ISBN 978-3-031-08956-5 . Retrieved August 17, 2024 . link.springer.com; Buczel, Klara Austeja; Szyszka, Paulina D.; Mara, Izu (July 1, 2024). "Exploring Compersion: A Study on Polish Consensually Non-Monogamous Individuals and Adaptation of the COMPERSe Questionnaire" . Archives of Sexual Behavior . 53 (8): 3285– 3307. doi : 10.1007/s10508-024-02930-5 . ISSN 1573-2800 . PMC 11335843 . PMID 38951409 . ncbi.nlm.nih.gov; Yuen, Hin Sing; Zörlein, Luu; Walter, Sven (June 17, 2024). "It is not just 'the opposite of jealousy': a Buddhist perspective on the emotion of compersion in consensually non-monogamous relationships" . Asian Journal of Philosophy . 3 (2): 40. doi : 10.1007/s44204-024-00171-w . ISSN 2731-4642 . doi.org (via Wikipedia: Polyamory)
  2. Source grade BMcCullough, Derek; Hall, David S. (February 27, 2003). "Polyamory – What it is and what it isn't" . Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality . 6 . Archived from the original on December 10, 2020 . Retrieved December 23, 2020 . web.archive.org; Yuen, Hin Sing; Zörlein, Luu; Walter, Sven (June 17, 2024). "It is not just 'the opposite of jealousy': a Buddhist perspective on the emotion of compersion in consensually non-monogamous relationships" . Asian Journal of Philosophy . 3 (2): 40. doi : 10.1007/s44204-024-00171-w . ISSN 2731-4642 . doi.org; Sheff, Elisabeth (December 17, 2013). "Jealousy and Compersion with Multiple Partners – How polys deal with jealousy and feel happy when their lover loves someone else" . Psychology Today . Retrieved June 28, 2014 . {{ cite journal }} : CS1 maint: deprecated archival service ( link ) psychologytoday.com; "Polyamory Society Glossary" . Archived from the original on August 7, 2013 . Retrieved December 26, 2006 . polyamorysociety.org (via Wikipedia: Polyamory)
  3. Source grade C"PolyOz | Compersion | Poly Terms and Concepts" . Archived from the original on November 1, 2012. web.archive.org (via Wikipedia: Polyamory)
  4. Source grade CVeaux, Franklin; Rickert, Eve (2014). More than two : a practical guide to ethical polyamory . Thorntree Press. ISBN 9780991399703 . OCLC 878396611 . search.worldcat.org (via Wikipedia: Polyamory)
  5. Source grade BYuen, Hin Sing; Zörlein, Luu; Walter, Sven (June 17, 2024). "It is not just 'the opposite of jealousy': a Buddhist perspective on the emotion of compersion in consensually non-monogamous relationships" . Asian Journal of Philosophy . 3 (2): 40. doi : 10.1007/s44204-024-00171-w . ISSN 2731-4642 . doi.org (via Wikipedia: Polyamory)
  6. Source grade C"Polyamory Society Glossary" . Archived from the original on August 7, 2013 . Retrieved December 26, 2006 . polyamorysociety.org; Anapol, Deborah M (1997). Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits . San Rafael, CA: IntinNet Resource Center. pp. 49– 64.; Taormino 2008 , p. 217. (via Wikipedia: Polyamory)
  7. Source grade C"Black and Poly Dictionary" . Black and Poly . November 13, 2017. Archived from the original on July 1, 2019 . Retrieved May 10, 2010 . blackandpoly.org (via Wikipedia: Polyamory)
  8. Source grade BAttridge, Mark (February 4, 2013). "Jealousy and Relationship Closeness" . SAGE Open . 3 (1) 2158244013476054: 215824401347605. doi : 10.1177/2158244013476054 . doi.org (via Wikipedia: Polyamory)
  9. Source grade C"Metamours: Everything to Know About Your Lover's Lover" . Cosmopolitan . December 14, 2021 . Retrieved July 21, 2024 . cosmopolitan.com; Carey, Michael (November 27, 2013). "A Lexicon of Alternative Sexualities, Part 3: More Poly Neologisms" . Slate . ISSN 1091-2339 . Retrieved July 21, 2024 . slate.com; Bergner, Interviews by Daniel (April 15, 2024). "Lessons From a 20-Person Polycule" . The New York Times . ISSN 0362-4331 . Retrieved July 22, 2024 . nytimes.com (via Wikipedia: Polyamory)
  10. Source grade CKlesse, C. (2011). "Notions of love in polyamory: Elements in a discourse on multiple loving" . Laboratorium . 3 (2): 4– 25. Archived from the original on March 17, 2017 . Retrieved December 27, 2016 . soclabo.org (via Wikipedia: Polyamory)
  11. Source grade CFrom PolyOz glossary: "Not in the [linguistic roots of the term] but very important is the commitment to honesty with all partners, and openly negotiated ground rules." Scm-rpg.com Archived February 27, 2009, at the Wayback Machine polyoz.scm-rpg.com.au; From sexuality.org [ link removed ] : "Two of the cultural cornerstones of the polyamory community are honesty and communication: it's expected that you and your existing long-term partner(s) will have talked over what you're comfortable with and what you aren't comfortable with, and that nobody is going around behind anyone else's back." (via Wikipedia: Polyamory)

Grades: A systematic review or official classification, B peer-reviewed study, C expert or community organisation, D practice from the community without research. How we grade sources.

Every claim was checked against its source before publication. Last checked 8 October 2026.