Safewords and safety signals

What a safeword is

A safeword is a code word, series of code words or other signal used to communicate a physical or emotional state.[1] It is typically used when someone is approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional or moral boundary.[1]

Safewords are usually spoken, but they can also consist of physical or visual gestures.[6] Using one at any time, whatever the intensity of the scene, usually signifies the end of the scene or activity.[2]

The traffic light system

The most common safeword system is the traffic light system.[4] In it, red means stop, amber or yellow means proceed with caution, and green means more is welcome.[4]

Within the community, such colour-based words are known as house safewords.[2] Some people add other colours, such as blue or purple, for dissociation and other emotional triggers.[7] Blue may also be used to signify a medical emergency.[8]

Silent signals

Sometimes speaking is not an option, so there are silent safewords.[2] These are simple gestures that represent stopping an activity, such as clapping hands or snapping fingers.[2]

Any action that shows the scene must end can serve as such a signal.[2] Because signals can be physical or visual, they are not limited to spoken words.[6]

Agreeing signals in advance

Safewords are usually agreed by all participants before a scene begins.[3] Many organised BDSM groups have standard safewords that all members agree to use, which avoids confusion at organised play events.[3]

Negotiation is described as necessary to make play enjoyable and safe for both parties.[2] How much negotiation is needed varies: the more familiar partners are with each other, the less is needed, and lower-risk behaviour needs less as well.[2]

Safewords in role-play scenes

Safewords are especially important in consensual non-consent role-play scenes, because saying stop in those contexts is usually part of the scene.[9]

Using a safeword usually ends the scene or activity, and it may signal a complete withdrawal of consent.[2]

Limits, debates and what the research says

Some couples feel they do not need a safeword, depending on the practices involved, since its role is filled by usual forms of communication.[5] Less commonly, some couples give up safewords altogether, and this practice is often considered controversial.[5]

One survey of 513 US adults found that BDSM experience was positively associated with the use of safe words.[10] The study used a convenience sample, so its findings must be interpreted with care.[10]

Even with precautions at events, coercion and sexual assault still occur inside and outside the community.[2] Deep consent includes the top being aware that the bottom is able to use a safeword.[2]